is pretty amazing, well, sometimes. Tyler Durden style, purely out of nowhere. It pains me that I can’t remember most of the coolest/darnest I said. Things in life repeat so very annoying, and deja vu always happens when people do the things that they do and I have something funny to say to it about, only that in deja vu I’m supposed to remember what I said.

Dammit, there’s just too many words in english.

It’s hard to keep a constant pace in life, as difficult it is when it comes to getting the right feeling at the right moment. You do, at times, tend to - not “feel” like it -. Like when they’re talking about the Nazis, well, fine, you have your own ideas of the Nazis, but at that moment in time all you really want to is just trying to be funny, then you went on talking about the Gypsies and spend 5 minutes rating everything you can about dog shit.

So I thought of this idea last night at one of those inappropriate moments (hint:french kissing). I thought, of all the ideas I have, that I have a safe and secure place of an online blog that is the greatest thing since G-Strings.

I’m gonna write about them. Random topics I’m gonna cover in the next few days, 1 topic at a time, will include religion, women, sex, invisibility and dickwads. Wait, I don’t really give a shit about dickwads, cancel dickwads, but DO keep in mind that it’s just ideas and not a novel, I’ll stick to the point and try to sound like I’m serious.

Nature has given men internet. Do not undervalue this gift.

p/s: When worst comes to worst, I found a blog post generator online http://www.flooble.com/fun/bloggen.php
It could work, but I’ll have to be pretty desperate to even take the chance.

That’s right, you heard me. In what most would say: Sex is giving up on all the women in the world, I simply gonna to put it as I’m going to give sex up for 3 months.

The master is giving up on what he does best. Upon hearing this anyone would laugh hysterically. Would a monkey ever stop eating bananas? Well people, monkeys are mere mortals, human is just purely awesome. Monkeys would always wonder how we get truckloads of bananas without ever having to climb a single tree. The inability of their thousand years of mammalian ancestry to heightened their social status is unfortunately the reason why the chinese eat their brains for breakfast.

It’s kinda hard to explain how I came out with the decision, in fact, it’s almost impossible to explain without the following visual cue:

I have no idea.

But I think it’s obvious why I’m doing this: some women around me are tired of being treated like shit. There’s only one way that I’m aware of to make it up for someone that I cared for. I need to sacrifice something in order to appease her inhuman appetites. Now, I know this sounds crazy but it just might work.

Let me answer your question in the following interesting and humorous manner on why I made the dumbest decision of my life.

When?
Giving up sex is the idea that I am so bored out of pleasing my girlfriend I spent 2 minutes making the decision, and for good measure put in several jokes to fool her into believing it must have taken me much longer.

Why?
Simply because I think I’ve been taken sex for granted. I had a lot of sex, I easily had more than more monkey brains being eaten combined for the next 10 decade 10 years, and I’m doing this to somehow “get” back the appreciation of sex. So instead of treating it like everyday lunch, I’m making it a more rare and sacred act.

Why?
Do you guys remember when you’ve first ever have sex? It was the best experience in your life isn’t it? Someone once told me the best sex he ever had was the first girl he’s been with, where both the participant “explore” everything together, but now that he had one time too many, he wonder if he’ll ever get that experience again.

In my case it’s even worst, I can’t seem to remember when I had my first intercourse, Jesus Christ I don’t think I can’t even remember who I did it with. It started with a bunch of foreplays, my first girlfriend ever I did not have sex with, but we broke up in between and I went out with someone else, that’s the outline of my rather confusing course of history, things were messed up and I left it all behind.

Why?
I simply had, quite a lot, and somewhere along to way I seem to have lost count. It’s not an out of this world experience anymore, it became something casual, and it’s exactly how most people are treating it.

Sex has always been a part of human culture, do you ever wonder that years and years of generations, if at any part of the hierarchy one of your ancestor cease having sex, you probably wouldn’t even exist?

Why?
Okay you got me, it’s just a part of huge scam to deceive someone to the delusion that I care, and that sex is not as important to me as the other non substantial things. I’d give up sex, dating and everything else.

I just wanna like, make a difference you know?

Thing about my writings is that I tend to write really really fast, and writing is one of the favourite thing for me to eat ice-cream to. It’s something that many people would think is impossible, how on earth can someone come out with so much crap in such a short amount of time? Science can’t explain, but I can. Hint: Think Zohan.

Being a common designer as I am, I totally believe in Zohan, as we believe in everything else unnecessary like flying spacecraft, cigarettes or leaving work in time. But of course, you will not find Zohan in any historical record or artifacts because he’s simply, Zohan. Like he’s gonna let you take pictures of him.

Monday has never been a good day in my books. It’s the perfect time of the week where everybody is still half awake from their driving and meetings with the “ah-it’s-only-Monday” attitude. So here I am as the entertainer that I am, but with nothing in particular to write about, is here to ensure you that I am in fact - not on the moon, or behind you ready to jump on you.

I simply hate Mondays, think of it as Mondays killed my childhood. It seriously never get old.

Note to self: You hit it hard on last Friday.

Note to self: Remember to write something interesting in the next post or you will start to lose some readers, or some friends.

it means that you’re still in love with me. Literally.

For those of you that don’t know what’s going on, I think it’s best that you probably wanna pretend nothing happened….. No don’t ask. Really don’t ask, it’s personal. You will never hear me talk about it because it’s personal. Like I’m gonna let you in my personal stuff. Get outta here~

Looking back at my previous posts I kinda realize that I’m putting in bits by bits of random stuff without really having anything clear to say, although they have a lot to do with my current situation, I kinda feel sorry for forcing you to slog through the mess I’ve created.

This has always been an issue for me, it’s when you have so much to say but you don’t really know how to put it all together. The idiot of the left brain of mine.

My life is kinda scattered right now, I’m missing out on jobs after jobs, people after people, meetings after meetings. To think that this morning I can’t even muster up the energy and desire to get out of bed.

It’s ironic really, that I’ve always strive on being interesting and I’m slowly discovering that I can only do so much to entertain myself. Sometimes, but not so much since I’m not really a morning person in general.

Right now I can’t really live without coffee to kick start/force everything in the morning, ciggies after ciggies to drift through the afternoons, beer to end the evenings and to get partially drunk to call it a night. I’m cramped in these habits to the verge of insanity. I’m directionless and a total mess, and nobody in my life to keep me in line. This is why my girlfriend is so important.

But right now even that is slacking off.

It has come to my attention that the most popular blog post ever usually talks about popular events, make ups, controversies, pick ups or theories/ideas/dissing/ass-kissing.

And to think of the horrid act of injustice that I’m not making profit along with the wave. I feel like there’s a need to let the world realize how great I am before I get old.

So here I am, doing whatever it takes to increase the hit rate for “Beijing Olympics 2008 is making a lot of money”.

Advertising makes me money, not that I’m complaining. We’ve seen people trying to make a butt load out of the Olympics. We’ve seen various brands tying-in their product with this big event in various interesting aspects. There’s mineral waters, there’s watches, there’s junkfood, there’s my blog, there’s sports wear, there’s Jesus.

No shit I’m not even trying to be farney. In case you naively think that I’m joking:
http://www.2008gameschina.com/jesus.html

And just in case these guys suddenly find a way to scientifically remove their brain out of their ass and remove the site, here’s a screen shot:

To think that God would want this.

One day car brands would promote their product by saying “Drive the Merc-Christ, may God be with you *Mercedes, promoting the love of the Almighty” then this website is gonna be partially responsible for it.

This is really what people meant by “history repeats itself”. For all we know, people never really quoted God until some clever guy choose to write God’s word on a tombstone or something then another clever guy think it’s a cool idea and do it as well and now the whole world’s doing it.

Evil shall fall.

Well are you?

As in you haven’t leech enough of my life. You’re arrogant, self-centered, know-it-all, and a show off. Remember the things you tell me for crying out loud.

All these while the things that you pull off, you told me it’s fine when I know that it’s not, and you have enough of yourself to have all these stuff happening to you. Finally you tell me you don’t have enough self-respect to do what’s right.

Do what you’ve always been doing and don’t care about what people feel you know?
Get out of this space, you’re not qualified.
Go with your little friends who talks with no money/plenty of money.

Bye.

Note: this might actually refer to a lot of people I dun wanna offend (i.e. my boss, Chuck Norris), not that I say stuff like these often. If you think it’s you, then it’s you. Read intro from previous post.

Ok, this is it, I’m gonna spit, because I can.

I have a life and lack the time so someone please start moralizing me cause I really have enough of this “jesus on my side” philosophy.

Whoever who read this post if any, want to present me with their Hallmark Greet Card wisdom, don’t. I’ll tell you what I think. I think the louder you protest, the quicker you resort to any insult the closer you are from denying the truth you don’t like. Let me point it out:

Say I put a quote here saying “you’re full of yourself and a show off”, it could refer to anyone who’s ever been into my life, it may not even neccessarily meant anyone for that matter, I could just say it cause I think it’s clever. Say again a well-rounded guy who’s never make a bad impression on me comes in and read this, it really would be no biggie and I can probably still bring him out for a Sunday ice-cream. Say again out of the sake of example a girl thinks that I’m talking about her, then she is stupid and ignorant cause I really say stuff like these cause I think it’s clever.

Actually, on the contrary, I might really be refering to someone here, and if you think it’s you, then it’s you and your insecurities. *Read the previous paragraph*

OK, back to the stone aged theocracy we’re living in now. Often at times I hear people talking like they have God’s words in their mouth, literally. Notice that whenever somebody speaks of God they are literally saying that “hey, if you disagree with me, you’re really disagring with God”. Many time Christian communion has been telling me words like “God will forgive you”, “God is watching” or “God will not allow that”, but what I know they really meant is that, if anything, they’d forgive me, they’ll be watching me, and they would not allow that. Maybe they do care about Christianity as a whole, but let’s analyze the following conversation and start to imagine what could go wrong. (for the sake of casuality, let’s replace God with Mark, a random man with Man, and me with Me)

And it goes a little something like this:

————————————————
Man: Hey you, I’m inviting you to kiss Mark’s ass.
Me: Who’s Mark, and why should I kiss his ass?
Man: Mark owns this town, you must be new, Mark says you either kiss his ass, or he’ll screw you.
Me: Do you kiss Mark’s ass?
Man: Yeah, all the time, in fact, Mark will give you 1 million dollar if you do.
Me: Have you collected your money yet?
Man: No, Marks says I’d get the money when the time comes.
Me: Um, how do you know that he WILL hand you the dough?
Man: It’s written here, see? Rule number 2, “Kiss Mark’s ass and he will give you a million dollar”.
Me: Wait, are you even sure it’s Mark’s handwriting?
Man: No it’s not, it’s written by John.
Me: How do you know it’s even coming from Mark?
Man: because John says he got it from Mark.
Me: You know, it’s still ain’t convincing enough, I will only consider if I meet Mark in person and talk to him
Man: Nobody see’s Mark, not unless Mark wants to see you.
Me: If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this whole thing is a scam.
Man: Then you’re screwed. If you ever change your mind, call me, Mark is a forgiving and generous person.
Me: You mean if I change my mind a couple of years later, Mark would be okay with that?
Man: I’m pretty sure he will, everybody knows that Mark is a nice person.
————————————————

Well I’m gonna stop here and like I said, it’s for the sake of casuality.
note: there ARE superb believers, and I fully respect their Christendom.

People has been pulling themselves further and further away from God, dedicating themselves to science to become God themselves and taking away the sanctity of Christianity along with it. Till now in the 21st century Christians have so much more to fight to survive as a religion itself. There use to be a time where the only enemy would be other religions they don’t agree with. For certain people that is insecure about their religion, not only do they have to struggle with their spiritual beliefs, but also scientific and historical facts.

This is when they pull out their final weapon, “God has been existing since forever and that’s that, no arguments allowed”. This is when disaster really kicks in. Our insecurities. This is when, you have a problem? Facts don’t matter, God is punishing you, you should seek God for obedience and discipline. We say that to ourselves when we are futher away from Him than any time in history.

Let’s take a quick look at this fact (loose example).

At the time where the smartest and strongest men were alive, men who wanted to create a country out of religous belief, the founders of America wrote this in the Constitution(technically America has nothing to do with me, I’m just throwing out an example), well they wrote this:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

The words “Jesus”, “God”, “Almighty” or anything similiar did not appear in the text, how stupid of them to forget to include these words when they are trying to build a christian nation?

Then any search online(google is your friend) on the 21st century president will give you a quote similiar to this:

We go forward with complete confidence in the eventual triumph of freedom. Not because history runs on the wheels of inevitability; it is human choices that move events. Not because we consider ourselves a chosen nation; God moves and chooses as he wills. We have confidence because freedom is the permanent hope of mankind, the hunger in dark places, the longing of the soul. When our Founders declared a new order of the ages, when soldiers died in wave upon wave for a union based on liberty, when citizens marched in peaceful outrage under the banner “Freedom Now” — they were acting on an ancient hope that is meant to be fulfilled.

No, I don’t know that atheists should be regarded as citizens, nor should they be regarded as patriotic. This is one nation under God.

Um, why do you wanna bring God into this again?
It’s really a rhetorical question. Hopefully point is made.

Here’s a biblical quote for all those out there:
“the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight.”Corinthians 3:19

And whoever is involved in this post, good or bad, you or me, agree or disagree, we’ll all fools, therefore the bible says we close the topic now.

*I actually DO have this thrown to my face.

God is a higher power, not one of your slumber party mates, and it’s already proven that the bible is historically inaccurate, get over it.

Anyone who ever bring God out (if ever, based on actual biblical facts), quote the bible, or tell themselves there is a higher power for the sake of arguments/problem solvings are universally full of shit.

And for the record, I’ve been saying this since 2000.

On top of already making God a problem, how about the decency to keep God out of your own problem?

Holy jamoly this is funnier than anything I can write about…

You would’ve thought someone who put so much effort in something would’ve given that thing a better name but nooooooooo, he named his mind-boggling weapon of mass destruction simply - “asdfMovie”. I get it, he’s smart, it’s like they calling a nuke “Little Boy” and it goes like this:

Little Boy: Helloe!! my name is little boy, i heard you’re little boy too, we can be best friends!
“Little Boy”: …..

BOOM!@, his new best friend just exploded in his face.

Hey Tom, maybe with all the time in your hands you should find a way to cure aids!

Interesting fact: the exploding Little Boy’s wikipage is longer than God.

Update: Extended version……. with a touch

I was asked to write about the company in the blog today, so I did. Ok you get me, nobody asked. Ok I’m not even at work.

Here it is:

Hunson the Designer here.
So now that the blog is live, and since I just spend a couple of hours focusing on work and work alone, I should be able to get my well deserved rest, but I decided to give you guys a lo-down of the people in Innity. That’s how much I love you.

*Facts might or might not be as accurate or awesome*

Company Name: Innity Bhd.
Head Count: 50+
Business Type: Awesome

First let me start with the 4 amazing bosses. See there’s this design director, and 3 other bosses. They are cool, in the sense that I’m not even trying to wipe dirt off their shoes coolness. If I am I would say they’re cooler than Chuck Norris himself, but no, because Chuckie rules, and yes, me and Chuckie are in first-name basis.

Moving on we have the Sales Team, which the numbers keep growing I lost count, let alone remembering their names (just kidding, I know who you are, Nima!!). Except for this girl that shares her burger with me when I’m hungry, and I truly appreciate that, and I’m sure the prospect of good-looking has nothing to do with it ;). They talk a lot, and I totally owned Alice in Facebook.

We also have a Client Servicing Team/Project Managing Department (don’t worry!! none of them shot themselves yet). They are the kind of people that can make something opaque and confusing into something they think is comfortably clear cut, but is equally opaque and confusing. It’s okay, I still think they are pretty amazing, they helped me on my morning coffee, and this is why they are very crucial to the jobs we do. This is also why the potato is funny.

We have a Business Development Team, I’m sure that, to make a truly amazing business developer is to have one crucial ingredient, Starbucks Coffee. It’s a long standing tradition, but the secret is well kept in their annual nocturnal meeting at the closet.

Then we have the Programming Team, who only knows how to write endlessly long love letters to the computer. Seriously, you would’ve thought they’re gonna make out with the monitor anytime soon. True, the programmers and designers might have some serious dough-dealing gun fight every once in a while (this is where I pull out my AS-123AWESOME-unlimited bullets machine Gun and totally own them), but we always remember that we’re working as a team and the big picture is a whole lot more important and make out, which really is a self-defeating statement cause we own them most of the time. I said most.

The Designing Team is, by far, the greatest of all, cause no one will ever have enough time to write such a post other than me, and you only have my word on it. We are beautiful, so beautiful it makes the lame people explode, so beautiful it makes me tears my mascara black. Most importantly, we’re full of people like me, who is either seriously totally awesome, or drop dead stupid, and is quite impossible, cause nobody is really drop dead stupid. Stupid, but maybe not drop dead.

Lastly but not least, is You. Drop by all the time and check out what’s the latest with the fun and engaging team of Innity. Your feedbacks and comments is what that keeps this blog in it’s purest form of awesomeness.
.
.
Check out the live version here. Note: we’re still trying to improvise the design when we have the time. Another Note: The post might not be there anymore, in that case I’m fired.